Entre amores e desejos: interações, significados e disputas nas práticas de poliamor e swing

Abstract

This thesis analyzes consensual non-monogamous relationships, highlighting two common and opposing models: polyamory and swinging. While polyamory involves multiple consensual romantic bonds, swinging involves heterosexual couples in sexual interactions with other couples without the emotional bond’s presence. The study analyzes WhatsApp groups, between 2020 and 2022, of the two active models, as well as participant observation of swing houses and parties, polyamorous meetings and case reports, revealing interaction and organization patterns that are fundamental to understanding the practices. The analysis highlights the divergences and convergences between the different non-monogamous models. I also present the sociology intersections with sexuality and the definition and history of monogamy and romantic love, highlighting their interconnection with patriarchalism, capitalism, Christianity and social values. Among swingers, there is little theoretical concern about their practices, with a strong focus on sexual action. However, swinger couples establish clear limits and maintain open communication to avoid problems such as jealousy, following pre-established rules that prohibit the development of deep feelings. In the chapter that explores the polyamory complexity, its characteristics, configurations and impacts on family and social dynamics, it is observed that being polyamorous involves adopting a worldview where love is not restricted to a single partner. Polyamorous configurations vary, from triads to complex networks of relationships, and agreements between those involved are essential to define limits and expectations, ensuring that everyone's emotional and physical needs are respected. Furthermore, polyamory challenges traditional notions of marriage and family, proposing new forms of relationships. Finally, disputes surrounding the concept of non-monogamy are discussed, exploring the different perspectives and meanings attributed to the non-monogamous practices in question and how these categories construct meanings in relation to the sexuality and non-monogamous people identity. Various models of consensual non-monogamy are discussed, such as swinging, open relationships, relational anarchy, political non-monogamy and free relationships. To do so, I turn to Gayle Rubin and her sexuality hierarchy abstraction expressed by the enchanted circle to problematize internal competition in search of the nonmonogamy conceptualization.